Hi! You may use this article. It is from the eBook > "Be a Winner" By E.A. Allen & S.C. Ferguson > Copyright 2003 ISBN #9609550-0-3 > and Published by H.K.R. Publishing Co, Oceanside > Califoia. http://www.hkr-publishing.com/ > 21,000 eBooks > > Thanks, Sincerely, Hal Reid, H.K.R. Publishing > > > > ***************************************************************** ******* > > DECISION > > There can be no lasting success in life without decision of > character. Even brains are secondary in importance to will. > > The intellect is but half of the person; the will is the > driving wheel, the spring of motivating power. A vacillating > person, no matter what their abilities, is invariably pushed > aside in the race of life by one of determined will. It is > those who resolve to succeed, and at every fresh rebuff begin > resolutely again, that reach their goals. > > The shores of fortune are covered with the stranded > wrecks of people of brilliant abilities who have lacked courage, > faith, and decision, and have therefore perished, while less > capable but more resolute adventurers have succeeded in > making port. > > Hundreds of people go to their graves in obscurity only because > they lacked the pluck to make the first effort, and who, could > they only have resolved to begin, would have astonished the > world with their achievements and successes. > > There are occasions when action must be taken at once. > There is no time for long and careful calculation of the chances. > The occasion calls for immediate action. The call must be met > or time goes swiftly by and our utmost exertions cannot bring > it back. > > At such times is seen the triumph of those who have carefully > trained all their faculties to a habit of prompt decision. > They seize the occasion and make the thought tu into instant > action; they at once plan and perform, resolve and execute. > > To do anything in this world that is worth doing one must not > stand shivering on the bank, thinking of the cold and the > danger, but plunge in and scramble through as best one can. > > The world was not made for slow, squeamish, fastidious people, > but for those who act promptly and with power. Everyone must > meet obstacles and perplexities, and must either conquer them > or be conquered by them. http://www.hkr-publishing.com > > ***************************************************************** ******* > > 50 Fr*ee Magazines, 500 at huge Discount > http://www.hkr-publishing.com/

Develop Laser Focus with Zen Patience. Discover How Much Time you can Save. Dear Friend, Make the Time to ask these simple questions. Trust me they will be well worth it. * How to develop focus that gives results? * Why is patience so important? We live in a Fast Food world. We want things as fast as possible and we want the best. No one wants to wait anymore. Personally, I hate waiting. Waiting is terrible. Lines at the store kill me and so does waiting for a package to arrive seems to take forever. The worst part about waiting is that I feel that I could be doing so much more with my time and energy rather than waiting.

So why am I talking about waiting to you?

Here is the secret! I'm not talking about waiting, but Focus, Patience, and the amazing results if you know how to get them. Discover the Way of the Tortoise and leave the Rat Race behind. http://www.sitesell.com/Adam23.html And win an amazing prize http://specialprize.sitesell.com/Adam23.html If you truly want to get the best of the best you have to invest two simple things. **Patience: Nothing happens immediately. You must give some time in order to get any results. Lea to the fastest and most effective ways to invest your time to get results you want. **Focus: Pay attention to your results. There are times that you will need to change your entire plan in a second, but you'll miss it if you're not paying attention. Remember you are not careful everything you want will fall apart in seconds. Some of the people I talk to say, "Is that it? Focus and Patience, but I still want and need things faster." This is Practical Time Management and wishing doesn't work here. You have to make it happen. What works is dealing with Stress, Goal-setting, Determination, Organization, Networking, and even Structured Procrastination. A farmer does not yell at a seed and expect it to grow into a huge plant in a day. They spend all year developing that plant and waiting for harvest. . Tiger Woods did not just one day pick up a golf club and win the Masters. He spent a lifetime leaing to be a good as he is now. Lance Armstrong has put more patience and focus than I could ever imagine into winning 7 titles. Still, he was not always the best. He put in the time and effort to become a Legend.

They know that nothing comes from simply wishing and hoping for the best.

Let's go over these areas again *** Focus on one thing at a time. Invest what you want out of it. If you give little you'll get little out of it. Be extremely selective of what you focus your time and energy in. *** Patience in the results you get. Keep working at it as long as you see the progressive results. A master knows that results are the difference between beating a dead horse and encouraging a slow moving horse. I am sorry. I just dropped a concept there without introducing it. Progressive Results is whenever you see that your efforts are getting the results that keep you toward your goals. This is divides Patience and Waiting. If you are not getting the results you want and need for a prolonged time. Change it, but organize and focus your energy and time in the correct direction first. Please reread the last few sentences before you move on. They are amazingly important to you success in time management and life. If you ever wanted a way out of the working Rat Race each day or just a way to make some money with some hobby you love. You have to look at this site. http://www.sitesell.com/Adam23.html "A picture is worth a thousand word." Discover the new life and incredible gift these people have found. http://specialprize.sitesell.com/Adam23.html

I was single for quite a while so I decided to put an advert in a singles' column. A friend of mine also joined me so we had two adverts running. I told most of my friends who were fascinated to see how it went. Anyhow, I waited two weeks before my advert appeared. It was one of those voicebox style services where you dial a number to retrieve your messages. After 14 days, my friend had one measly reply! Nothing to write home about! However, my results were rather different. I had over 35 replies to my one advert!!! I was stunned. Not only was I amazed at the number of calls, but it highlighted just how easy it can be to meet women, especially if our advert is worded correctly.What was I going to do? I couldn't possibly see all 35 women - I just didn't have the time. If you did want to see all of them, and you met half that number for a second date, you would be going out every day for over 52 days! Well, I had 35 women to call and notes on each one. Most leave a description of themselves to give you an idea of what they are like. Furthermore, when you hear their voice you can get some clues to what type of person they are, what class, etc. Too Many Dates to See!!! Anyhow, I started rating these women according to my personal preference - I had to have some way of prioritising my dates! I was aged 30 at the time and my replies ranged from 18 to 34. My preference has been for younger women so they went to the top of the list. But when you have 9 girls of 25 or under, you have to prioritise again!!! So, for me it was location. Those who lived closest to me got first choice. OK, so I've got my names and telephone numbers of 35 dates, together with a brief description of what they are like. They are put in order so I know who I am going to ring first. But what am I going to say? How would I introduce myself to make the best possible impression? As it happens, my initial calls were fine. My dates were as happy to hear from me as I was to talk to them. After all, they replied to me! However, after phoning these 35 women (and more later on) I have leat what to talk about, what works and what doesn't. You will benefit from this experience in later chapters. I Used to Spend Lonely Nights In Before my advert, I used to spend my evenings in, perhaps with a friend occasionally coming over for a coffee. I was so bored that I was hiring a video nearly every night. Also, I craved for female company and the affection that often came with it. But I wasn't meeting ANYONE! I rarely went out and even if I did I doubt I would have the courage to approach a girl and chat her up. Then, in the space of 14 days, I had one date every night of the week! My social life was completely transformed OVERNIGHT! We often read about get rich quick schemes promising oveight results, yet we know these are mostly scams. Most things offering instant fixes should be treated with caution. Want to meet women? try to put your own ad the at http://www.onenightstandsex.com Good luck

"Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak." ~ Epictetus, Greek Philosopher How well we listen determines the quality of our connections with others whether at home or work. Yet, most of us did not master excellent communication skills in our family of origin. In fact, most of us haven't taken any formal training in the art of communication. And, as far as communication goes, listening is definitely the key. Luckily, anyone can lea these skills. Excellence is developed with practice. The following steps will help you sharpen your listening skills. 1)Maintain good eye contact with the person you are talking to. Eye contact is imperative in conversation, and makes it possible for you to sense the underlying emotions as well as to assess facial expression and body language. Good eye contact says you are listening and are interested in the person and the conversation. 2)Empty your head of your own agenda, and listen to what the speaker is saying. This is especially difficult if you disagree with what the speaker is saying or have another opinion. Remember, you will have your tu to speak. Overcome the temptation to jump in with your own opinion until you have truly explored what the other person has to say. (This is particularly hard if you happen to be talking with your teenager!) 3)Check out what you have heard by stating what you thought you heard back to the person you are speaking to. Say something like, "What I hear you saying is…" "Is that right?" If the person you are talking to agrees that you heard accurately, great! If they say, "No, what I said was…" – believe them. Don't argue or come back with, "That is too what you said." It is amazing how many times individuals I am working with in communication skills will argue with their partner about what the partner said or meant! We all have a tendency to distort somewhat based on our own experiences. That is why reflecting back what we thought we heard is important. 4)Ask open-ended questions about the content or information being shared. Open-ended questions cannot be answered with "yes" or "no". They invite the speaker to give you more information and to expand on what they are saying. Open-ended questions often start with "how" or "what", or "tell me more…" 5)Try to imagine how the person you are talking to feels about what they are talking about. This is a skill called "empathy" and is essential for close, meaningful conversation. Share back your sense of how the information is impacting them, such as, "That must make you happy." Or, "It must be hard for you when that happens." Connecting on an emotional level shows you are listening and truly understand them. If you practice these five steps faithfully, you will be amazed at how much better your relationships will become both at home and at work.

Find The Courage To Know The Truth Helaine Iris © 2004 "Making the decision to have a child--it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." Elizabeth Stone My daughter amazes me. She's just been through a roller coaster growth cycle. I'm going to share this vulnerable, recent event from her life that has beautifully illustrates a powerful life lesson. I have her permission to share this story with you. It all started about six months ago when she began her senior year of high school. To give you some background, our daughter, who tends to be on the reserved side, is not a risk taker, and attends a very small, private, alteative school in rural Vermont. There are 10 kids in her class and for the most part they all socialize with each other. It's a close-knit group of students. There's not a lot of a potential romantic option in such a small pond yet my daughter began to develop a crush on one of her classmates. As the year progressed and social events increased and friendships deepened, her feelings for this boy deepened as well. I was delighted she was talking to me about her experiences and feelings all along the way. We spent many a conversation exploring how one deals with having feelings for someone when you're uncertain if your feelings are to be retued. We discussed at length possible strategies for approaching the conversation. We considered the pros and cons of letting things naturally unfold vs. trying to second-guess where we thought this young man might be based on his interactions with her. Over months we talked and talked. She expressed her hopes, her fear of rejection; ultimately, she feared that if she told the truth of how she felt, it would ruin the friendship, which was clearly valuable to her. About a month ago the tension was approaching fever pitch for her. The friendship had grown the crush tued to love, and they were beginning to spend serious time together. She was filled with the fantasy of how wonderful it would be if the relationship moved to the next level. Still she was unable to ask this young man the seemingly simple question, "do you like me and want to be more than friends?" It became painfully clear to me that my daughter was avoiding having the conversation because she was afraid to know the truth. On a deep level she was convinced that she was going to be rejected. The distress of not knowing and the tension it created although miserable was safer than facing possible disappointment. It was very understandable and yet, something needed to give. What truth are you resisting facing? I often experience this very human phenomenon with my clients. The tendency to avoid the truth inadvertently creates complicated, energy draining situations: from relationship issues to not wanting to hire a bookkeeper to sort out your finances because of what you're afraid you might discover. If you're afraid of seeking the truth because you believe that your worst fear will come true ask yourself if you can really know for sure that it will. Isn't it just as possible that you might be worrying for nothing? How much energy does it take to stay in the dark? If you're afraid because you don't have the confidence to get through whatever tough emotions arise look for evidence from your past that you can. When have you survived and actually grown from other challenging life lessons? Building a support system to help you deal with what ever comes up can be invaluable and confidence building as well. Finally, the day came. My daughter told us she couldn't take it anymore. She found the courage to face her fears and decided she was ready to tell him the truth. My husband and I took her out to our favorite Sunday moing breakfast restaurant and coached her. By the end of our meal she was ready and drove off to meet him. There is a happy ending to the story, but not the happily ever after kind. It tued out the young man didn't retu her feelings, he was happy being great friends with her. She came home heartbroken yet not devastated AND most importantly, relieved that the truth was out on the table and she could be free to be real with him. She activated her support system in a big way and began to recover. Yes, it took a few days to sort it all out, and the friendship has grown. They're communicating on a more satisfying level. What an incredible opportunity for a seventeen year old to lea how to face truth and build self-confidence in the process. My daughter amazes me. It's YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

In my first corporate job, I had high expectations that promotions were based on a solid work ethic and quality production. I wanted to aim for the top and make it happen. Unfortunately, my ideas of corporate environment were inaccurate. As a grunt, an engineer, and a manager, the games, turf wars, and political thrashings taught me numerous incredible lessons. In the end, I made it to where I wanted to be, but not without bruises, scrapes, and experience. Now, people come to me with problems that they have within their companies or on their job. They want to lea how they can overcome a situation or better adapt to make it within their companies. For instance, one employee lost out on a promotion because the person in charge favored another person. In such situations, you have to look at both sides. Of course, the scoed employee was upset as his credentials exceeded the promoted employee's. But, when we examined the other side of the coin, one of the prominent actions performed by the promoted employee was that he publicly supported the boss. If you remove emotion from the situation, and apply some "poli-think," it made sense, according to the manager's needs. You can either fight it, or you can lea how to make it work for you. I'm not condoning politics nor am I saying that you should use political tactics in your everyday life, as this is not only exhausting, but it also takes away from your work and personal time. But, if you can understand your corporate culture and its politics, you can better lea how to handle the situations that are placed before you instead of becoming stressed or frustrated. --- The Corporate Culture --- When you enter Corporate America, you have two choices: dig in, go with the punches, and make it into the inner circle, or you can hang back and just do your job. Both postures are very necessary elements of corporate life and both are just as difficult. It all depends on what you want out of your career. * The Corporate Being A Corporation is a living, breathing, and growing entity. It changes on an irregular basis, adapts to its environment, and sometimes performs acts that seem almost ludicrous. In this way, a corporation is very much like a human being. You, as a part of this being, must lea how it grows and changes. Most of the time, this information is not evident. However, part of the task of becoming a viable asset to this being is to look beyond the surface and find out where things are going. In this way, you can position yourself to be a positive part of the growth and change. Many of the political situations that occur within a corporation are a result of this growth and change. These changes cause incredible stress for some individuals; however, the stress can be overcome by not fighting the politics and leaing the culture of the organization. You will lea that many of these situations have valid political reasons for why they occur. Leaing the corporate culture is an important step in managing the stresses associated with any job. Take some time to observe the culture at your office. This will not only give you an idea as to how to handle yourself, but it will also help you lea how to handle others. * Culture Shock A corporate culture is a set of behaviors and rules that people use to manage their interactions. These include formal company policies and informal rules that you lea through experience. Many times, management will not tell you the informal rules of the office, but they will use your ability to adapt and lea as a sign of how well you handle yourself. Additionally, behaving in an inappropriate manner for the culture could risk your being labeled as uncooperative by your coworkers. In any situation, you should analyze the culture, and, if necessary, change your habits accordingly to minimize stress. To evaluate your corporate culture, you should consider various important aspects of the environment. For instance, communication style, teamwork, chain of command, appearance, management roles, interoffice friendships, politics, individual attitudes, and general workspace environment are important elements to pay attention to so that you can better acclimate to the environment. After you've leaed the culture of your workplace, you should see how it matches your personal style and expectations. To help prevent workplace stress, it's likely that you'll have to adjust some of your own habits. Of course, you should not stifle your originality or become an indistinguishable android. With an understanding of your workplace culture, you can make informed choices about your behavior and work habits, and prevent stressful situations and conflicts. --- Corporate Games --- Before you can understand corporate games in the workplace, you must understand one, core definition of the games: a corporate game is an illegitimate means of getting things done. It is a way that people twist and tu situations to reach a specific goal. However, those people that don't play, risk their careers. Improperly managing power and politics can make or break your career, cause many sleepless nights, and often has very little to do with your actual job duties. Many people who fail in their jobs do so because of political problems, not skill deficiencies. Many intelligent and capable people aren't as successful as they might be because they haven't leaed to cope with office politics. Understanding why you might be having difficulty at work involves understanding the basic elements of office politics and why it exists. * Politics Politics and political maneuvering is the interpersonal conflicts and power plays that exist in most organizations. Among the specific actions commonly associated with office politics are intimidation, indirect communications, covert tactics for advancement, manipulation for control, indirectly telling the truth, hiding vulnerability issues, and playing for favors. Some companies are better than others in the amount of political activity required to do a job. In some companies, playing corporate politics is the only job you have the time to develop. In others, it is only slightly important. Politics is part of the corporate culture of every organization and it's important to understand how it plays into your organization. * Why does it exist? Politics came about as a way of handling intense competition. Generally, business itself is a competitive game ranging from simple tests of skill to full-blown battles. The game is driven by survival conditions induced by an expanding world market in which companies must continue to change and grow. There's a constant challenge to overwhelm the opposition, reduce costs, and acquire additional resources. All of these attributes trickle down through the ranks to cause individual battles for promotions, rewards, and recognition at all costs. Another reason for office politics has to do with the hierarchical structure of most organizations. The higher you advance, the less room there is at the top. As long as people battle for the "coer office," workplace maneuvers will reign. This is where the most intense battles occur and where most people find that they are stepped on or pushed aside. Also, office politics occurs where personal matters are suppressed because they are seen as interfering with the direction and the good of the corporation. Certain arrangements help to keep individual feelings out of corporations as well as prevent the discussion of sensitive issues and the denial of interpersonal conflict. However, since human beings are social beings, human needs appear in the form of political conflict. --- Surviving Corporate Games --- Whether you decide to play or not, don't get caught in the middle. If you become the individual that battles politics, then you become the scoed of the organization. If you decide to stay out of it completely, then do your job and stay out. Those on the other end of the spectrum that play will respect your decision because that alone gives them less competition in their own battles. One thing you'll notice is that no one will admit to playing games; however, that is part of the secret of politics. You, on the other hand, cannot confront anyone for playing games; however, you can identify the games and lea how to manage them to suit your needs. Once you figure out how to do this, then your stress level will drop, and you'll be accepted in your environment. * What do you want? Before you can lea how to use these games to your advantage, you have to set a course and stick with it. This means determining what it is that you want out of your career. If you roam aimlessly through your career, then you'll get nowhere as you are a benefit to no one, including yourself. If you know what you want and are willing to work to get there, then people will take notice and begin working with you to get where you want to go. The objective of managing corporate games is to benefit those in charge and understand how to use available resources to your own benefit. * Leaing the game. People who dislike company politics usually associate it with backstabbing, taking credit for others' work, or getting by on personality rather than performance. For the most part, these are standard characteristics of a political game. However, you don't have to play this way to make it in a political environment. To survive, for our purposes here, political game playing means developing good "people skills." It means contribution, diplomacy, collaboration, cooperation, and conducting a personal public relations campaign. Some of the best ways to handle politics at this level are: - Keep your eyes and ears open to everything that goes on around you. You can use this information to your own best interests. Listen more to what other people are saying and absorb what they mean. - Lea how to communicate with others on all levels. - Resolve disputes quickly and don't allow them to linger and spread. Conflicts interfere with production. Additionally, this will get you into the rumor mill and eventually have you on the same level as Jack-the-Ripper. - Compromise positions and issues so that you end up in a win-win situation. You want to always leave the other person with a piece of the pie, if it benefits you. - Be open and willing to admitting you're wrong. Holding out when you're wrong will only place you in a position of conflict and distrust by others. - Take on leadership roles when possible. Demonstrate your abilities to lead and manage situations professionally. - Be professionally assertive without being abrasive. - Make "acquaintances" within the organization. You don't want to have close friends, nor do you want to make enemies. - Put the corporate direction ahead of your own. Being part of a forward moving team that supports the company is the way to gain positive looks from the inner-circle. To accomplish your goals, you'll need to be very people-smart. Playing politics isn't necessarily bad. In fact, it's a key survival skill in most organizations. Many good corporate politicians are both likeable and effective---that's why they make it to the top. Those who refuse to play or battle against the politics may accomplish a lot, but they seldom last long because they don't fit into the overall scheme and are seen as "trouble-makers." --- What's next? --- I'm sure that you've read one or more Dilbert cartoons by Scott Adams. They're very humorous, but what makes them humorous is that, for the most part, they represent actual situations in an office environment. If you see any of his cartoons and don't somehow find humor, then you have a lot to lea. Regardless of where you go or what you do, politics in the corporate culture exist. Political decisions encourage many of the situations that most people despise, including hypocrisy, secrecy, rumors, self-interests, image building, and cliques. However, politics will always be a part of organizations as long as people are involved---to be human is to be political. Whenever people's priorities, values, and interests diverge, some type of political ploy usually takes place. The amount of involvement you choose is entirely up to what you want out of your career. Remember, it's not a "personal attack," it's a "political approach." If you lea your culture and consider that statement in your daily activities, your work environment can be more enjoyable and less stressful.

Criteria Elicitation This is without a doubt the most important persuasion skill that you can lea. If you'll lea to apply this to every situation in which you find yourself you'll be amazed at the positive results! Many of the hypnotic skills I'll be sharing with you have a parallel in old sales training techniques. This one is no exception! Lets say that you are needing to convince someone to do something, accept something, or behave in a certain way. You will need to communicate with their powerful subconscious to get your desired agreement. Once a person's subconscious "buys in" to what you are proposing they will just naturally seem to come over to your way of thinking. The question then becomes "how do I get my message to the person's subconscious?" Here's your answer-elicit their true criteria. Simply put, ask. Try this one SALESMAN John what's important to you when shopping for a new car? JOHN Well I like to know that the person I'm dealing with is honest." SALESMAN Yes honesty is the best policy. What else is valuable to you when you are making the decision about a car? JOHN I like to know the car has a high reliability rating from Consumer Reports SALESMAN an unreliable car is not an acceptable situation. What else is important john? JOHN I want to know that I got a really good price. In the above can you put John's criteria in order of importance? If you chose 3, 2, 1 you were right! Our hypnotically trained sales man knew to ask at least three times what was really important or valuable. He agreed and parroted each answer so that John's SC would react to him as a friend (rapport) John's SC would give increasingly important info each time he was asked what's important. So our salesman needs to focus on showing John that he is getting a good price on a reliable car from a trusted advisor. When you need to convince someone first you should establish rapport. The easiest way to do that is to ask some questions about things important to that person. Some people go after rapport by starting with stuff like "how do you like this weather?" A great way to establish rapport is to share some detail from your own life first. "John you should have been with me last week at the golf range! I was hitting them long and straight! Or "my daughter just got the lead in the school play!" People usually respond with instant liking for you when you share a detail from your life. Once you have conversed for awhile (small talk?) then you can get to the elicitation stage. "Boss—what's important to you about how my sales job is performed?" What else? What else? Surveys are formalized attempts at criteria elicitation. Once you know someone's criteria then you have the roadmap to structure your persuasion attempts. By focusing on their criteria you will be seen as perceptive, insightful and caring! "Honey what's valuable to you in a relationship" What else? What else? Structure your communication to take advantage of the criteria that you have elicited and you'll always come out a winner! Any Questions? John Satterfield C.Ht (Certified Hypnotherapist) hypnosisucanuse@getresponse.com